With numerous online platforms, it seems that we can access just about anything and connect with almost anyone. The quantity of connections is at an all-time high while the quality of those same connections remains questionable. Platforms provide us with an unprecedented visibility into numerous possibilities. Goods, services, individuals, careers, hopes, & dreams all seem within reach: they’re right there! However, I think that the productification of people has led us to have drastically unrealistic expectations. I’d like to discuss dating and careers.

In online dating apps & platforms men and women have access to countless profiles, many of which are deemed (by the platform) to be a “good match.” If I’m single then there must be something wrong with me, because surely there is someone out there who would be good fit. Or I may see “the perfect woman” many times over. They’re all right there – I can see them! Many women see “the perfect man,” but none of them seem to reply. Or the ones who do reply don’t seem interested in a long-term commitment. The people who I’m after are all there on the platform, but I never seem to get to be with any of them. They seem accessible, all there on the platform/app, but they really aren’t.

A recruiter can post a job description on one or more job boards and get 100+ applicants in just 1 or 2 days. Many of the applicants seem quite good, or maybe too good, for the role. When a recruiter reaches back out to the top applicants they never hear back, the applicants never attend the interview, or they turn down the job. The recruiter has access to all these applicants; they’re all right here in the job portal. But the ones the recruiter is after don’t seem to reciprocate. Or as a job applicant I can see hundreds of new roles posted in any given week. Many seem like a great fit. I apply, optimize, pitch; but all I get back are non-customized rejections or nothing at all. The perfect job is right there, many times over, but I can’t seem to land it.

As I walked through the scenarios, the flaws in the individuals’ reasoning are relatable yet apparent. In the dating world many profiles are less than genuine; motivations are mixed. In the job search world many applicants & roles aren’t real, and many individuals & companies are improperly portrayed. But as an individual, the disappointment from the outcome of the process doesn’t feel any less real. Because we can send the invitation to connect, post the role, or apply for the job we think that the ideal fit is attainable. But unfortunately, it isn’t. The connections aren’t real; that access to your “ideal” individuals, candidates, and roles isn’t real – even though they’re all there. Unfortunately, this perceived access is a real problem that leads many to discouragement and disappointment.